Beyond the Uniform: Soccer, Community, and Holistic Wellness After Military Service

The uniform changed. The mission didn’t. Finding new purpose on the pitch.

After 23+ years as a U.S. Army Soldier, my identity was tightly woven into a world of structure, shared mission, and mutual accountability. Military camaraderie is unique—bonds forged through discipline, sacrifice, and a common purpose. But after I retired, I found myself staring into a void I hadn’t quite expected.

I had my health, my credentials, and my freedom—but something was missing. The structure was gone. The tribe was gone. And for the first time in decades, I felt… disconnected.

In search of a new sense of belonging, I laced up my cleats and stepped onto a soccer field—something I hadn’t done seriously since before my Army days. I didn’t return to soccer to stay active—I showed up to support my son. Coaching came first, playing came later. But that sideline turned into a lifeline. Before I knew it, the game was guiding me back—to community, to purpose, to myself.

The Void After Service

Retirement is a milestone many of us forward to—but the reality can hit harder than expected. The military gives you more than a job; it gives you a lifestyle, a mission, and a family. When that disappears overnight, it can feel like a loss of identity.

There’s a rhythm to military life that’s hard to explain. From 0400 wake-ups to shared suffering during ruck marches, it’s more than routine—it’s tribal. And losing that can leave a vacuum.

For me, the loss ran deeper than I imagined. I was used to leading, mentoring, and being part of something bigger than myself. In civilian life, I had freedom—but no formation to fall into. No mission. No clear next step.

Veterans often face these questions: What now? Where do I fit in? Without a structured community, our emotional and mental health can take a hit. Mine did—until something familiar helped dial me back in.

Rediscovering Soccer—By Way of Coaching

Ironically, it wasn’t playing soccer that reconnected me to community—it was coaching.

I signed my sons up for the local AYSO league. Coaching wasn’t even on my radar until I was told: not enough coaches, so my boys couldn’t play. The Army in me couldn’t let that go. I raised my hand, did the coaches training, and showed up.

That one decision—to serve in a small way—became my first real step back into purpose. Coaching brought me into a new kind of team. I wasn’t leading soldiers—I was guiding kids, partnering with parents, and rediscovering the joy of teaching fundamentals.

But even as I preached connection and commitment to my players, I wasn’t living it. As a wellness coach, I often emphasize the Six Dimensions of Wellness—especially the social side. Yet outside of coaching, I was isolating.

A neighbor had invited me to join his men’s league team for months. I kept saying no—busy, tired, too rusty. The truth? I was afraid. Afraid I wouldn’t fit in. That I’d be the “that guy.” A therapist gently called me out: I was self-isolating under the cover of busyness and pride.

Eventually, I said yes. I showed up. That first match reminded me what I’d been missing—the camaraderie, the banter, the shared sweat. A different uniform, but the same tribe.

The Wellness Connection

Through coaching and playing, I began to live what I had preached for years: the power of community for holistic wellness.

The National Wellness Institute defines wellness through six dimensions: Physical, Social, Emotional, Intellectual, Occupational, and Spiritual. Soccer—simple as it is—hit every one of those:

• Physical: Movement, endurance, strength.

• Social: Teammates, shared effort, laughter.

• Emotional: Stress relief, resilience, joy.

• Intellectual: Strategy, formations, problem-solving.

• Occupational: Leadership, mentoring, communication—skills straight from the Army.

• Spiritual: Purpose, connection, and belonging.

What started as just helping out with a kids’ team became a framework for post-military wellness.

Lessons Learned

What stands out now isn’t just the return to the game—but what I’ve learned because of it.

Biggest lesson? It’s okay to outgrow one mission and still need another.

For a long time, I thought purpose was tied to uniform and rank. But fulfillment doesn’t work like that. We’re wired for tribe. For contribution. For connection.

Another lesson: Knowing the science of wellness doesn’t mean you’re living it. I had coached others for years—strategies, protocols, checklists—but I wasn’t walking the full circle myself. Coaching kids helped. Playing with peers brought it home.

And maybe most importantly—I learned to say yes again. Yes to being uncomfortable. Yes to starting over. Yes to showing up. That one "yes" cracked open a door I didn’t know was sealed shut.

There were surprises, too. I didn’t expect the mental clarity from running plays. Or how natural it felt to lead from the sideline, even with cleats muddy and orange slices in hand. I didn’t expect to meet fellow veterans on the pitch either—but when I did, the connection was instant. Different chapter, same language.

Finding Your “Soccer”

This journey taught me how vital it is for veterans to find new communities that fill the void left by service—and support all dimensions of wellness.

Soccer gave me more than fitness or fun. It restored my sense of belonging, challenge, and purpose. But it wasn’t just the game—it was the people.

To any veteran reading this: you don’t need to find your old community again—you just need to find a community.

It doesn’t have to be soccer. Maybe it’s jiu-jitsu, cycling, a hiking group, a garage band, or a chess league. The activity isn’t the point. Connection is. Purpose is. Tribe is.

If you’re seeking your next mission, look into programs like Soldier to Sidelines, which helps veterans become coaches and mentors in youth sports. These roles don’t just impact the kids—they rebuild you too.

So say yes. Take the first step. You never know what door it might open.